plarp ([info]plarp) wrote,
@ 2006-04-23 22:15:00
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Current location:Home
Current mood: weird
Current music:Jefferson Airplane - Embryonic Journey

this evenings musings
so i have been thinking about a few things this evening and for some reason i think should write them down. This will be a repeat for Kien and Wendy, apologies. And apologies to everyone else because this isn't gonna make a lot of sense.

Semicolons; Nobody ever uses semicolons. People use the more commonly accepted comma, full stop and hyphen for their punctuation needs. The colon is relegated to merely heading lists, while the semicolon is abandoned entirely. I have discovered the reason for this sorry state of affairs. People are afraid of the semicolon. Terrified. Why? Because semicolons are the unknown. People are afraid of the unknown, it is a very scary thing. And nobody knows what the fuck a semicolon is, what it's for, why it exists. People have the vague idea that it is some sort of super comma, however they aren't comfortable with it. It is an intimidating, unknown, and hence neglected piece of grammatical history.
Rest in peace, sweet prince of punctuation.

Ok, now for another theory that is a little bit more crazy but also more closely related to areas of general interest. If you are a little girl in a kickass action film, you will go on to become extremely hot later in life. What evidence do I have to support this mad hypothesis? Well, I will demonstrate.
I present to you Exhibit A, Natalie Portman. She starred alongside Jean Reno in Leon: The Professional when she was 13 or so. And now? star of many hollywood blockbusters and more importantly to this study, hot.
Exhibit B, Alyssa Milano. Played a minor but important role as Arnold Schwarzenegger's daughter in Commando, around about 10. Present day? Leading lady of hit (garbage) tv show, Charmed. And, once again, a hot looking chick.
Exhibit C? Eliza Dushku. Once again, a cinematic daughter of Arnie, this time in True Lies. Has gone on to appear in the Buffy and Angel tv series, as well as numerous movie roles. By this point, you surely will have surmised that she is gorgeous.
My challenge to you, as the reader, is to present a counter example. IF YOU CAN.

there, thats what my mind has been rolling over the last coupla hours. Do with it what you will.


(28 comments) - (Post a new comment)


[info]crushedcereal
2006-04-23 02:43 pm UTC (link)
I always use semi-colons! Perhaps even excessively, especially in my essays!!!

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 02:44 pm UTC (link)
in this comment alone you used 4 exclamation points and not a single semicolon. This imbalance must be redressed, sab! fight the machine!

;;SEMICOLONS REMOVED FROM THIS POST FOR YOUR PROTECTION;;

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[info]crushedcereal
2006-04-24 03:33 am UTC (link)
Well! You know! sometimes I just! get so excited!!! so; I forget; to use semicolons;;;

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[info]plarp
2006-04-24 03:35 am UTC (link)
EXCITED about SEMICOLONS!

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[info]crushedcereal
2006-04-24 10:15 am UTC (link)
Well, at least I don't get excited about colons -_-;

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[info]lord_blitz
2006-04-23 02:45 pm UTC (link)
hahah i use semicolons, only in reports though. and i don't really even know why. i just look at a sentence and realise a comma doesn't work there, and neither does a fullstop. so i use the semicolon. XD

i believe your "young girl+action flick = hot later" theory is flawed. why? because people only tend to remember the HOT ones. otherwise they're simply child stars that just fade away as child stars do. People don't remember the young girl that acts in some action flick later in life UNLESS they become hot later in life and get put in some other shows.

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 02:47 pm UTC (link)
present evidence to support your rebuttal (ie. NO SCREENSHOT DIDNT HAPPEN)

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[info]anarch_kitty
2006-04-23 03:24 pm UTC (link)
Sadly, my friend, you failed a most important test; you actually failed to use any semi-colon to indicate that you did indeed know the proper usage of such an important punctuation tool.

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[info]anarch_kitty
2006-04-23 03:26 pm UTC (link)
Edit: the use of the semi-colon at the beginning of the paragraph discussing semi-colons does not represent correct usage. ;)

*end anal-retentiveness*

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 03:27 pm UTC (link)
THUS PROVING MY POINT THAT NOBODY USES THEM MUHUHAHAHAHAHAHA

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[info]anarch_kitty
2006-04-23 03:29 pm UTC (link)
Au contraire... please feel free to peruse my thesis at your leisure.

;)

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 03:31 pm UTC (link)
you are not in fact a person but a superhuman cyborg sent from the semicolon dominated future to lead us all to this glorious new age, and hence your usage of semicolons is invalid.

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[info]anarch_kitty
2006-04-23 03:42 pm UTC (link)
*error*

*does not compute*

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[info]velithya
2006-04-23 03:30 pm UTC (link)
;_;

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 03:31 pm UTC (link)
hahaha emoticons dont count :P even animu ones!

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[info]velithya
2006-04-23 03:39 pm UTC (link)
I think you'll find that you're incorrect; given the common usage of smilies and emoticons to "translate" emotions and vocal tones, semicolons used in such a context become perfectly valid.

Also the above sentence is perfectly grammatically correct. Am I a superhuman cyborg too? :P

The problem with semicolons is that in standard English they aren't used often - a lot of people do confuse them with colons (you did this in your paragraph: "Semicolons;" should have been "Semicolons:") and others just don't know when to use them, so they start a new sentence instead. There are certain styles of writing that use semicolons; they are generally not the popular genre read by most people, and as such people do not become familiar with seeing them around.

In any case, I know when to use semicolons, and do so when appropriate. :)

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 03:40 pm UTC (link)
that semicolon was just there to remind people what they look like :(

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[info]velithya
2006-04-23 03:41 pm UTC (link)
Then you should have said:

Semicolons(;): or Semicolons - ; - or something like that. :P No excuse for crap grammer!

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 03:43 pm UTC (link)
oho, im sorry, did you just mispell grammar?

you're on the back foot now, missie!

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[info]velithya
2006-04-23 03:49 pm UTC (link)
Grammar =/= spelling :D:D

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[info]plarp
2006-04-23 03:51 pm UTC (link)
this is true, and i will concede your mastery of grammar.
however your spelling leaves much to be desired :P

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[info]crushedcereal
2006-04-24 10:19 am UTC (link)
And I thought she misspelled it on purpose o_O;

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[info]crushedcereal
2006-04-24 03:34 am UTC (link)
LOL!!

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[info]hellotiffy
2006-04-23 05:36 pm UTC (link)
Rest In Peace, semicolon. You'll be missed.

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[info]namtae
2006-04-23 06:27 pm UTC (link)
wtf... why are you all talking about semi-colons?

What about the hot little girls in action movies??!?!?!

Geh.

anyway, child actors usually turn out hot because they were good looking as kids to begin with. Most being the kids of actors/musicians etc who have to be good looking, otherwise they would have zero popularity (unless u're someone like Robert di Nero... but he's allowed to be ugly since he's Italian).

Nobody's gonna cast a cross eyed, mono-browed, really really tall for her age, bald headed, tubby little girl in an action movie. Who the hell is gonna believe that something like that would be the result of Sexy Arnie's ejaculatory fluid mixing with the ovum of his super good looking on-screen wife. It just doesn't fit with continuity.

Anyway, little girls are put in action movies for the main character to save. The better looking they are, the less we want them to die. Speaking from an "action movie audience member" point of view, if a really ugly little girl got kidnapped and threatened with death, I'd be calling for her to be quickly put out of her misery. (not that this is my IRL view of things. I LOVE all little girls equally and without bias. hoho)

The only problem with this argument is if an ugly chick was put in an action movie as comic relief. In the rare event this happens (as it's cruel) it's still okay. She'll probably make enough money from the movie to get braces, plastic surgery to remove her freckles, money for a wig etc. Plastic surgery is also the answer for cute little girls with lots of movie $$$ who get molested by the ravages of puberty.


That said... I'm sure if u looked, there would be at least one ugly mofo out of all the kids in Kindergarten Cop. Those were some ugly kids...

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[info]plarp
2006-04-24 03:37 am UTC (link)
you make good points i must say. good looking kid = good looking adult makes sense!

also the kids in kindergarten cop dont count, none of them went on to do shit :P

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[info]kadeton
2006-04-24 09:52 am UTC (link)
also the kids in kindergarten cop dont count, none of them went on to do shit :P

Thus we see the inherent problem that makes your argument a truism: People who are not attractive fall completely off the pop-culture radar and are never heard from again, so a counter-example cannot exist (except in the case where someone personally knows a girl who was in a kick-ass action film and grew up to be ugly, which is itself inherently unlikely).

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[info]plarp
2006-04-24 03:49 pm UTC (link)
one thing i decided soon after i met you chris, is that i would never attempt to argue with you. Instead i am going to metaphorically curl up in a ball and admit that whatever you say is correct :P

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